The Black Chronicles: Sirius' Story
by Mirunika
Summary: The story realtes Sirius' life starting from Godrics Hollow and ending with the events at the end of OotP. It's written in the first person, from Sirius' point of view. EDIT: I'm sorry to say I shall no longer work to finish this story. It stops here.
1. Chapter 1: Godric's Hollow

**Chapter 1: Godric's Hollow**  
  
'Ugh, another Saturday gone by... I wish all this would end already! It's getting... boring!' I say winking to James across the coffee table. He grins at me, but turns around to Lily when she speaks...  
  
'Oh, no you don't Sirius! He's a family man now, he's got, you know... responsibilities! You'd best behave yourselves if you don't want to change Harry's diapers for a year or two.' Lily hisses, giving me a nasty look.  
  
'Hah, ok, sheesh Prongs, she turned out to be really bossy, didn't she?!' I grin at James, and suddenly get knocked over by a flying pillow. 'Not fair! I can't hit a lady!'  
  
'Ooh, you'd better not,' James starts. I look at him defiantly as he's sticking up for her. '... I think she knows karate!' he finishes almost bursting into laughter.  
  
This is just like old times. We're having the time of our lives... if only Moony and Peter could have been here... I'm tired of hiding, tired of it all. I wish it was all over. I was quite surprised that Dumbledore approved our meeting actually. He was really nice for once. And as it's Halloween and all, well, we deserve a tiny break. Plus, I haven't seen Harry in months, not since he turned 1. Heh, he's grown so much, and he's already starting to look like his father. Well, maybe it's just me.  
  
The living room clock starts ding-ing. I didn't realize it is so late. 'Damn, it's already eight... I should be going... I want to check on Peter before heading home. I want to see how he likes his new place.' 'Of course he'll like it,' I tell myself, 'I picked it after all.' I start grinning as I remember that I had left out some minor details when I had told Peter about the house, like say, some mouse traps...  
  
'What'cha grinning about? James inquires obviously intrigued. Damn, he knows me too well...  
  
'Oh, nothing, just a... welcoming present I set up for him.' I look at him and figure he caught on to my prank. I remember I have to go, so I get up and head for the hallway. 'Listen, I really should be going now.' I say turning over to say goodbye. I wouldn't go if I didn't have to, but these are risky times, and I promised to keep the visit short. I'll miss them though. Who knows when we'll meet again... I look over to them, standing there like one big family, and I can't help fearing that this is the last time it'll be like this. But no... I mustn't think like that. I fake a big smile, and hug them as goodbye.  
  
I get outside and turn around one more time, watching them standing in the doorway waving. I get on my motorcycle and start the engine... 'Say, Happy Halloween Harry!' I shout over the loud sound of the engine. I wave and trail off into the skies, wind blowing against my face. I'm heading for Peter's house now, like I said I would.  
  
I land the motorcycle in front of Peter's new den. Weird, the lights should be on at this hour. I climb off the bike and head for the front door. I knock once... twice... no answer. Now, this is really weird! I get out my wand... 'Alohamora!'... the door swings open and I go inside to inspect. The place looks uninhabited. Come to think of it, it looks like Peter didn't come here at all today. His stuff is still all packed-up like we left it yesterday. There's even dust on it...  
I look around, feeling my pulse gradually escalating. Where could he be, I thought we had settled that nobody's to leave without notice.  
  
A sudden flash goes before my eyes. What if... no, he couldn't be... he wouldn't do that... he can't be a... spy! A sudden feeling of foreboding comes upon me. I have to check on James and Lily, oh God, please let this be just a misunderstanding. I exit the house in a hurry and get on my motorcycle. I rush over to Godric's Hollow, only to see the house burning from the distance...  
  
No, no it can't be.. my mind rushes to find itself, nothing makes sense, nothing! I'm speeding toward what are the ruins of their house, but something pulls me away... I don't want to see them, what if something happened to them? I couldn't stand it, I'd go mad. I land my motorcycle on the front lawn and dismount in a hurry. I approach the main entrance an notice the door's left ajar. That's odd... I push the door open and rush to see what's wrong, my eyes rapidly picking up the broken vase at the foot of the little table in front of the mirror. A sudden coldness comes upon me... something's wrong, I sense it now even stronger than before. I start down the hallway, feeling my heart pounding like it hasn't done in years. I'm scared, for the first time I'm truly scared. Where are they, why isn't anyone answering, why can't I find... them...-I just reached the living room and the sight stops me in my tracks- JAMES!!! NO!! JAMES!!! I kneel down next to him, feeling the blood rising to my head in a rush. He's not, no, he's not... dead! He can't be! Yet, he's not moving, just lies there, still clutching his wand, ready for battle. It's like time's stopped, my head's gone numb, I keep staring and my heart's like ice shooting shards through my soul. My mind's reeling, flashes of memories passing before my eyes... 'Say Padfoot, you figure we should give Snivelly some time off now he's all grown up?' James was laughing next to me after we had both received our Diplomas for graduating from Hogwarts. 'Oi, I'm not letting you to go out there alone Sirius' ... 'That's what best friends are for..' he winked at me while we were heading out of the Order's Headquarters not long ago... I can't feel, I don't know what I should do, I just sit here, next to him, not moving... not thinking.  
  
A thick dust and a foul smell of ashes covers the house. I can feel it, but I don't care... I don't care that the house is slowly falling apart, I don't care if I die. There's nothing to live for anymore. Wait, no, how could I...? I suddenly get up and frantically start looking around the house for Lily and Harry. I forgot, my God, I hope they're ok. But they're nowhere in sight...  
  
I've checked half of the house so far, and still no sign of them. God, God if you can hear me now, please, I beg of you to take care of them, don't let them be dead... anything but that! As I head for the bedroom, I become aware that someone's watching.. who, I don't know, but I can feel him, peering through the darkness, waiting for something. Then I see Lily, curled up in a corner, with the same blank expression on her face as James. The sight sends shivers down my spine. She's still holding Harry...  
I get closer to her, biting my lip in anger. What, what's this? The baby moved around in his blanket, turning his bright green eyes toward me. Harry! He's alive, oh thank heavens! He's so quiet, so calm, brave like his father. I pick up the baby from his mother's arms and hold him close to my heart. You poor soul.. what will become of you now? ... crash Something's moving in the shadows, startling both me and Harry, who ultimately starts weeping. I start moving toward the window, as I'm pretty sure that's where the sound came from. It's quiet again, nothing's moving anymore. Yet, as I approach the window sill I manage to get a glimpse of a shiny worm-like tail retreating under the nearby armchair. Why do I have the feeling I've seen it before?...'Peter?' I call out to the being under the chair...  
  
'James? Lily?' A voice I quickly recognize as being Albus Dumbledore's suddenly breaks the silence. I turn away from the armchair and head toward the front door in a hurry to meet him, still carrying Harry in my arms.   
  
'Professor!' I call out to him in a hurry, not knowing what to say first.. 'They.. he.. they're.. and Harry..' My voice trails off seeing his face reflecting in the dim light provided by a couple of street lamps not far away. I've never seen him so worried in my life.  
  
'I know Sirius, I know, it's too late now, everything's too late. Is Harry ok?' He turns his eyes to the baby who starts giggling and stretching his little fingers out toward the professor's long beard. 'Good. Good. I've sent for Hagrid, he should arrive here any moment now.' He didn't even get to finish his words, that a great shadow appeared outside.  
Hagrid, our half-giant friend walked hurriedly toward us, his eyes darting from little Harry, to the shadow of his dead father who was now carried out of the house on a stretcher by a couple of healers who were called up by Dumbledore. Once Hagrid gets next to us, I can see he's as worried as Dumbledore. The professor tells him to take Harry to his aunt's family, to the Dursleys because he's safest there for now. I try to argue but I get silenced by Dumbledore's words..  
  
'Sirius, I know you want to help, but try to understand.. Voldemort is gone, well for now anyway.. but his followers are still on the loose, and they'll be out for blood. Harry's protected at the Dursleys, I know how hard this must be, but please, have faith in me. I promise you can take care of him as soon it is all over. I promise.' He stares at me through his glasses and I know I won't be able to say no.  
  
'If it's for the best..' I say heading over to Hagrid to give Harry to him.   
  
'Sirius..' he starts but I cut him off fast, sick of sorry's and words of comfort.  
  
'No, mate, just forget it. Here, take Harry. If the professor thinks it's for the best, then who am I to argue..' As he turns to go I get a brilliant idea,' Say, mate, here, you can take my motorcycle. Just make sure he's safe.. keep him safe Hagrid!' 'We'll do boss!' he salutes me as if we were in the army and trails off.  
  
I'm left staring at the outside of the house. The night's so dark, the sky so cloudy and the wind beats in such a way that it makes me feel like I'm in a graveyard. More and more figures appear around me, ministry workers on official business, healers, reporters.. All of them with a purpose, all of them pretending to care.. They go past me in a hurry, piling up all around the lawn as if they're attending some sort of freaky circus show. I stare at them, and all I see are James' eyes, Lily's sadness. Suddenly, a shadow springs out of the darkness and starts running down the street. It's Peter. I start running after him. I'm the only one that knows he was appointed their secret keeper. I know he's the one that sold them, and I'll get him, I'll make him pay.. bloody toerag. The air's cold, and a mild rain's starting to descend upon the land. I run after him, watching him look back, seeing me closing in on him, and not stopping.  
  
'PETER!!!!' I yell after him, only to see him speeding up his pace. Finally he stops in the middle of a muggle-inhabited street.  
He turns to face me, and I can see a mad smile upon his face. 'What's wrong Peter? Master left and you're all scared now? Rudy coward!!! HOW COULD YOU?? I yell at him, feeling the blood pounding in my temples. His face darkens. He stares at me like a madman. He has given up his best friends over to the Dark Lord, and he looks proud of it, happy, in a twisted kind of way. My eyes narrow as I stare back at him, seeing him now like nothing more than filth. 'How could you Peter? How?! We trusted you, THEY trusted you..' He winces.  
  
'Me?! ME?? YOU sold them Sirius, you're the traitor here... you, you as good as killed them. You've fallen, you're with him now! You've betrayed us all!!' He suddenly turns round, and, seeing the crowd of muggles gathered in the nearby gardens, he starts cursing his way out, killing most of the viewers as he passes. I take out my own wand and send some curses after him. Finally, one of my spells hits him straight in the back and he tumbles to the ground yelling in pain. Seconds later he's gone.. leaving behind a pile of bloody clothes, a trail of smoke and fresh blood.  
  
I'm all alone now. Standing in the middle of a street, in the middle of a new found chaos. I look around at all those innocents.. men, women.. children.. all dead. Worst of all, it's all my fault. I know it now. Me and my brilliant plan. I led them all to nothingness. I killed them. The rain's growing colder now, the sky's blacker than ever. My mind's loosing all reason, can't focus on anything. All I know is what I've done. They're dead.. thanks to me. Pictures from the past pop up in my head, burning like letters of scarlet upon my forehead. 'We therefore swear we'll be friends forever.. Padfoot, Prongs, Moony and Wormtail.. Forever!' Haha, forever proved to be too long for you, didn't it, Peter?! ... I can't stand this feeling, and yet I can't fight it. I've killed my best friends. They trusted me, listened to my foolish idea, and now they're gone. And Harry, poor Harry, left alone, nobody deserves that.  
  
The cold's taking over me. I start to shiver but can't get myself to budge. It's all lost, it was all for nothing. I remember laughing at their wedding, holding Harry in my arms while they baptized him. They were my only family.. my all.. and now they're gone. I see their faces in the dark, watching me, blaming me, crying for me.. and all I can do is laugh. Laugh like all's over, laugh like mad, laugh for I have nothing left. Wizards apparate all around me, I even get a glimpse of Cornelius Fudge yelling something at them, and then they come and take me by the arms, pushing me toward a police van. I fight but I'm to weak to do anything anymore.. and why should I.. I'm guilty, I should pay.. I killed them! And still I laugh, laugh like mad.. laugh for there's no tomorrow.. and it's all heavy on my heart..


	2. Chapter 2: The Road to Azkaban

**Chapter 2: The Road to Azkaban**  
  
They shove me in the back of a Muggle police van and lock the doors behind me. I look around... The car's empty, filthy, dark... The storm outside is still wreaking havoc on the streets, and I hear the now heavy rain pouring down onto the top of the car, brushing its windows like an insane shower. I realize that my clothes are dripping wet and I'm shivering in the cold, but I don't care. There's no way this is going to be good... I know where I'm going and I know why. It's my fault that Lily and James are dead. I never should have trusted that rat. And now he's hiding. He's not stupid... he had it all planned out... Yes! His own backup plan in case anything went wrong... bloody toerag! I'm nothing more than a fool. They all think I killed all those people, that I sold my friends, killed good old Peter. Nobody'll believe me now... nobody will listen. I bury my head in my hands, trying to make sense of everything. I can feel it all slipping away... dreams, plans... my life's become a worthless fairytale in just a couple of hours.  
  
I wish I had my wand. I wish I could make it all go away. But it's too late now... A clap of thunder startles me. I look out of the gloomy window, only to see Dumbledore talking to some Ministry workers. Next to him, a tall, thin, man stands nodding in disbelief, an expression of total confusion on his worn face. 'REMUS!' I yell, pounding my fists against the window, hoping he'll look my way, hoping he'll notice. But nothing... the car starts pulling off and I'm left staring out of the window, watching my last friend suffering because of me.  
  
I can't stand all of this! My head's pounding, and a claw-like pain is clutching my insides. I move away from the window and sit down in a corner. I rest my head against the icy metal and feel my mind emptying... I'm left staring into the dark.  
  
The car finally stops and I glance towards the window to see what's going on. Two massive guards open the car doors and pull me out roughly, leading me towards a nearby building..  
  
The Ministry of Magic.. what, they've already gathered a lynching mob?  
  
As we reach the main hallway I see Bartemius Crouch standing next to the golden statues, surrounded by a couple of reporters, guards and other Ministry workers. They're all staring at me and I can see the gleam of abhorrance in their eyes.  
  
'Mr. Black!' Crouch addresses me when we finally reach them.  
  
'If I'd known known this was a private party, I'd have packed some fancy robes!' I say snidely, while surveying the crowd.  
  
'You're in no position to talk, Mr. Black! I'm here to inform you that you've been found...'  
  
'You've got the wrong man, Crouch!' I say before he can finish his sentence.  
  
'I find that very unlikely!' he hisses, eyeing me with disgust.  
  
'Listen to me, Vol...' I interrupt urgently  
  
'No, Mr. Black, I'll have none of that. You have been accused of murder, and I'm afraid that the evidence against you is quite compelling. I have no other choice than...'  
  
'Don't you dare!' I shout at him, but I know what's coming... one of the guards turns towards me and hits me hard in the stomach. I stumble to the floor and land on my knees, clutching my abdomen in pain.  
  
I raise my eyes at Crouch and he starts speaking again, with a satisfied spark in his eyes. 'As I said earlier, I have no other choice but to send you to Azkaban. The Dementors have been notified and they'll be here shortly to take you into their custody.'  
  
This is it... no turning back... His voice keeps reverberating in my head... 'The Dementors of Azkaban... they're coming!'... 'Murder!'... 'Sentence you to Azkaban.. they're coming!' Flashes of memories mingle with his words until it all gets unbearable. 'YOU! YOU betrayed them Sirius!'... 'Say Padfoot, what's on for tonight?'... 'Sirius, do you mind watching Harry for a while?'... 'Murder!'... 'Harry!'... 'Harry!!'... 'AZKABAN!!'  
  
-BANG- A door swings open and the room suddenly falls silent. Six Dementors come in, heading straight for Crouch and me. The room grows gradually colder as the they glide closer, and I can see stars of ice forming on the paving as they float forward. Two of them reach for my shoulders and pull me up from the now icy cold floor. As soon as they touch me I can feel their power, their hatred, charring all hope from my soul. My mind works alone now, showing me every single sordid memory it has stored throughout the years. My mother... my family... I'm all alone.. it's cold, so cold... alone. James, dead, Lily, NOOO!... people piling up in Godric's Hollow... standing in the rain in the middle of chaos... 'You're a traitor Sirius! You KILLED them!'... 'AZKABAN!'... 'FOREVER!!!' I cry out in pain as my head starts aching worse than ever... 'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!'  
  
Crouch is staring at me, sneering. 'Have... FUN, Mr. Black!' And he waves the Dementors off. I try to fight them, to fight against my mind...  
  
'You've got the wrong person, Crouch! Listen to me, you...' They reach for my shoulders and start pulling me towards the door. 'No!! Harry!!!! HE's alive!! Crouc..' One of the Dementors comes in front of me and lets out a loud shriek, showing its putrid grey face from under his hood. Everything goes black...  
  
I feel the rain dripping on my forehead. I slowly open my eyes and an eerie sight reveals itself through the misty darkness. Azkaban... the place of eternal sorrow. I'm too weak to speak, too weak to move.. those... creatures can suck the life out of you, leave you helpless and cold... and they enjoy it. The doors swing open with a loud crack and I'm once again being pushed forward towards them. I go along, looking around reluctantly. The prison is a great fortress, surrounded by water, in the middle of nowhere. It's just as dark as a shadow in the night, and as inviting as a coffin. I advance slowly towards the gloomy light inside the prison walls. It's still raining, I'm freezing, and the Dementors aren't helping a lot. I do my best to clear my thoughts, to escape from all the pain . I'm innocent, and still I'm here... in this place... in the rain... and it's cold... forever. Nothing matters in the end.  
  
We go through the heavy doors, and I can see rows of cells on both sides of the long, winding corridor. It's dark and creepy. Hands reach out from beyond the bars when we pass by. Insane moans tear through the silence. And laughter, mad screams in the night. The air's suffocating, a stench of decay floats all around, engulfing everything in darkness. We walk across the corridor, and I keep looking around the massive structure. It must be four or more floors high, all made of stone and steel. Nobody broke free from here, and by the looks of it, nobody ever will. But I'll try, die trying if I have to... I'm innocent! I don't belong in here, not while Peter's out there. I must find him, kill him! But how...?  
  
They finally stop in front of an empty cell. My new home I guess... It's small, dark, with one small window looking over the sea shore. I haven't any choice but to go through the steely barred door, and watch them close it from the outside. At least they won't be that close anymore... My mind can't stand it , it's all too much. My nose starts bleeding and I rip off a piece of my robes, trying to get it to stop. I'm sitting in a corner, my eyes still trying to adjust to the darkness of the cell. The Dementors resume their guarding posts across the corridor, leaving me in the shadows. I get up and slowly start to pace around the cell, looking at the time-worn walls and getting a glimpse of what appear to be scratch marks etched into the stone slabs. I can feel shivers going down my spine. How did I get here, what am I doing here... in this, this hell?! I walk near to the bars and look over to the cell facing mine. A young woman's standing in a corner, her arms across her legs, rocking her body slightly while keeping her eyes fixed on a stone and muttering something under her breath. I stare at her, at her eyes, and I fear that I'll end up like her... hopeless... insane... forgotten.  
  
One of the Dementors is gliding towards my cell. I move back, trying to keep my distance from it, trying to force myself not to think. It stops in front of the cell and shoves some ragged clothes and a tray with stale food through a gap at the base of the door. As it trails away, I go towards the tray.. picking up a piece of bread and inspecting its mouldy surface with disgust. 'Yeah, right... thanks mate!' I shout after it.


	3. Chapter 3: Bella and Crouch

**Chapter 3 - Crouch and Bella**  
  
This has been one of the darkest days of my life. I've finally reached that point from where it seems impossible to return. One of those voids, distortions in time when all becomes nothing and all reasons seem pointless. I found myself wishing to be struck down by a lighting bolt or shot by some bullet gone astray. And yet I keep on going... Something in me refuses to give up. I have my thoughts, I have a purpose, and I'll always have that, no matter what they take from me.  
  
It's been so long since I laughed, since I did anything other than being locked up in this wretched cage. And still I remember why I'm here, and why I shouldn't be... I see the pictures, still burning in my head, memories from long ago, and I know that I've reached the bottom... there's no place to go than back up. And I'll do it. If it takes forever, then so be it! They might eat up my happiness for breakfast but they can't break apart my spirit. They'll never take away what's left. My hands might be shrivelled and my eyes reddened, my body might ache with every move, but I'm still here, and I won't give up anytime soon.  
  
I look out the window and notice it's almost dawn. I've lost another night to darkened thoughts and bitter-sweet memories.  
  
This place hasn't changed in so long, not one bit of novelty. I've come to know every routine, every movement, every stage of life in this rotten prison. I've listened... and I've watched... New ones come, crying, screaming at first, then go quiet. They all go quiet in the end. They're maddened by their own thoughts and finally give up hope. Then they die... It's a never-ending battle, and all for their amusement...  
  
They're still here... the Dementors... still sucking happiness on a daily basis... still guarding next to my cell... cold and putrid as always. I've come to know them... wretched creatures of the night. They can't see, but they can read your soul, smell your emotions. It matters less to them if you're innocent than if you'd suddenly turn into a cream tart to spite the other inmates. Stupid... evil...foul creatures of the night... why did we have to meet?!  
  
I'm startled by a sudden loud noise coming from the end of the corridor. I approach the bars, trying to catch a glimpse of what's going on. Some of the others do the same. Thin, pale, with eyes bulging out of their sockets, they stand there, watching... waiting... but not giving a damn, not really... It's all a show we seem to repeat forever... fresh blood's being brought to the slaughter house and we've all got front row seats.  
  
An acute feeling of sorrow, helplessness, takes over me as I look upon the face of the damned. He looks no older than 19, young, scared, shivering in their grasp. He doesn't stand a chance in here... they'll consume his youth before winter comes. He already looks sickly and weak. I remember seeing him before... it finally dawns on me, he's Crouch's son, Barty Jr. That man's lost his mind, what fault could this poor fellow have... what could he have done that was so wretched that it called for Azkaban? His own son...  
Barty Crouch, the last person I saw before I came here... the one that sent me to this hell... If only I could look him in the eye after so long, laugh in his face for his own sorrow... he took away my life...  
  
The condemned and his guardians pass by my cell and I'm left staring after them until they finally come to a halt in front of a cell not far away from mine. They shove the prisoner inside and close the door behind him. The game begins once more... the screaming, the crying... the silence. I've come to revel in them, for they're not my own. They're my incentive to go on...to defy this despair.  
  
Finally some reparation in all of this... a couple of minutes have gone by since the young man was brought in, and the prison gates open once more. The patronising voice and cold laughter resounding from the entrance gets to me, stirring nothing but hatred, loathing in my veins... Bella, Bella, Bella, finally you get what you deserve... for once justice has been done! But who am I kidding?! She's too cold-hearted to be affected by all this... I've seen the others, the truly evil ones... not even wincing in front of the dark creatures.  
  
All of this is pointless. The Dementors are natural allies of the darkness, they're evil, and evil works together. This won't be more than a walk in the park for all of them. And if Voldemort ever returns, they'll all be ready to go back. There's no repenting for the wicked.  
  
My dear cousin's being led to a cosy little cell somewhere on the opposite side of the corridor. Even though she didn't notice me, she's yelling my name...  
  
'Sirius, Sirius Black, foul shame upon our name... I know you're here!' Her words are preceded by roars of laughter cold as ice. Then, turning her eyes upon the other inmates, she breaks loose from the Dementor's grip and runs towards the bars, screaming proudly 'He'll be back, have patience my friends! He'll be back, and glory'll rest upon our shoulders for not abandoning him!' She then gets yanked away towards her own cell and shoved inside just like the others. Her husband's being lead away from her, somewhere on another floor of the prison and she's left alone to her maddened antics.  
  
I withdraw from the bars to avoid attracting more of the Dementor's attention than usual, and settle in a dark corner, on the cold stone, looking out the window upon the moonlit waters of the sea. The quiet of the night seem to contrast with the fresh cries and screams coming from my fellow inmates. It's truly a desolate sight. I pick up a sharp shard of stone and scratch yet another day into my improvised calendar.  
  
'4 years... how many more ahead...?'


	4. Chapter 4: Demented Dreams

**Chapter 4 – Demented Dreams**  
  
I'm running across an all too familiar path... I push through the crowds, following the rat into the darkness of the night. We reach an abandoned bridge and that's when I see them... James, Lily... Voldemort. They're right in front of me and I start running towards them, trying to save them, trying to change fate. My feet grow heavy and I can't take another step as I'm compelled to watch my friends die by the hand of that monster. I scream into the night and charge at him, but I'm knocked off my feet as one of Peter's spells hits me square in the chest, sending me flying over the bridge railing. I'm falling... with my arms opened as if I'm embracing the night, with my eyes facing the darkened sky... I'm falling. It's a feeling that I cannot describe... it's freedom, but more than that... no worries, no thoughts, no fear... pure freedom. For a moment I feel like I know eternity. And then I hit the water...  
  
Bang  
  
I wake up in a pool of sweat, my pulse racing. I've been having weird dreams for a while now and they're tearing me apart. Sleep was my last refuge from all this and now all that's left of my sanctuary are the same depressing images, the same faces haunting me every night. I get up and start pacing up and down the length of my still moonlit cell.  
  
My eyes fall upon the carvings I have made on the window sill. Ten years... has it actually been that long? Harry might be at Hogwarts by now... he'd have found it all out... My heart aches at the thought that my godson might think me nothing more than a murderer... a traitor...  
  
What I wouldn't give to be out there, next to him... comforting his sorrow... acting like the father he never got to know. What I wouldn't give to have my old life back... I'm sick of all of it... sick of the dark, sick of the solitude... of my thoughts and of the coldness of these walls. What could possibly be worse? This is my hell!  
  
Voices from nearby cells resound in the silence of the night. Their screeches never stop... Words of traitors and betrayal, words of vengeance... at least I'm not Peter's only enemy, this place is full of them. I listen as they pledge their vows to seek him out, how they call out to their old master... Voices from the past... voices for the future...   
  
I lay down on the bed again, my hands beneath my head as I stare at the low ceiling. It's almost dawn and the light's growing brighter as the sun comes up.  
Something starts moving across the corridor...  
Breakfast time...  
  
Another day dragged by in the hypnotically slow pace of this fortress. This routine is so weary and I'm too tired to think anymore.  
  
I pace towards my bed and lay down on it, staring at the ceiling. Staying awake forever seems a better option than going through yet another night of torture. But I'm to weak to fight it... my eyelids feel heavy and unwillingly I fall asleep...  
  
The room starts spinning and I find myself in the middle of a crowded city street. Houses, cars, people everywhere... I gaze around in wonder, as I wasn't expecting to be here. My dreams, as real as they seem, never vary from the same street, the same people, the same pain... But now, this... all this... is different. As I move through the passing crowd everything goes quiet... so quiet... and motionless. One could discern a needle falling on the ground a mile away in these conditions. Colour seems to fade away from everything... it's like somebody has stopped time in its tracks.  
  
I turn around startled by a muffled noise in the distance. Something's coming my way, making the ground tremble in its path. Then I notice it... a huge, awesome ball of reddened flames is ploughing through the town, heading straight for me. I try to run, to hide away... but it's pointless, I cannot move... I cannot scream. Sweat drips off my forehead and my hands are clutched to my stomach, trying to force me to wake up. But I can't... I'm being kept there by some unknown force deep in my mind... I'm left staring upon the end... the full-stop for humanity... as it approaches... as it consumes... This moment seems frozen in time, like a still from a Muggle movie. The sky is reddened by the blaze and the air's thickened by smoke and ashes, choking me, confusing all my senses. As the fire flares in front of me, I bow down in a feeble attempt to shield myself from it. I raise my eyes one last time toward it, only to see it turning a bright marine-blue and taking the shape of a giant wave, seemingly uniting the earth with the sky above like a veil ...a bringer of death.  
  
Water... water covering everything... water carrying me away to nothingness... I'm floating with my eyes closed in the middle of silence. I'm still here, I'm still me... I open my eyes, to see a spread of sand beneath the waves, lit up by sunrays coming from the surface. The sand glitters in the light and the greenish blue of the water is soothing... peaceful.  
  
Somewhere beneath my eyes I see a figure buried in the sand. I glide dreamingly towards it just to find myself gazing upon my own face. Sand shrouds my image, leaving only a bit of my face sticking out of the misty sand. My eyes closed, my lashes white, my lips blue and shrivelled...   
  
It's difficult to explain the feeling inside my head... it's not fear, it's not happiness, maybe curiosity... I notice a current passing through the water and exposing one of my image's hands. The hand seems to clutch the sand between the fingers... bluish nails and dried up skin...  
  
I shrug and turn my eyes upon my image's face... I try to touch it...  
  
'Gaaaaaaah!' As soon as I laid my fingers upon it, my image opened its eyes and clutched its cold hand around my arm, pulling me closer, looking me in the eyes.  
  
'REMEMBER!' it mutters, leaving me staring blankly back at it.  
  
In the next instant, the images in my mind start spinning and I wake up in my bed, disturbed by this last spark of my imagination. What could it mean... why now... Could this be more than one of my whims of insanity surfacing when I'm defenceless, eating me from the inside?  
  
'Remember... remember what...?'


	5. Chapter 5: The Picture

**Chapter 5 – The Picture**  
  
'Hey there, wake up!' a man yells at me from beyond the bars, pulling me out of one of my familiar nightmares. 'The Minister's coming!'  
  
'What? Who?' I start, taken aback by this turn of events. 'The Minister... that would be... who, exactly? I'm a bit behind with the local news, you know... Wait a second... who the hell are you? I didn't know that Azkaban has human guards...'  
  
'Well it does!' he spits, eyeing me with contempt. 'Anyway, you'd best behave while Mr. Fudge is here... he's inspecting the prison, so if something goes wrong there'll be hell to pay!'  
  
'Pay... riiight...' I laugh in his face. He might not be very smart, seeing how he considers being locked up in here not a bad enough punishment. What other hell is there? I guess working here gets the best of you... He suddenly startles as the doors start to open, revealing a pair of Dementors coming in for a last minute check-up before Fudge's arrival.  
  
'Right,' he hurries, 'I've got a lot of work to do so I'd better be going...' He clenches his hands around the barred door and pushes against it to make sure that it is locked, and will not open unexpectedly, then he trails off to the next cell.  
  
A while later the Dementors pass by, taking time to breathe a bit more terror into the inmates than usual... shrieking and showing their blackened faces from under their hoods.  
  
The place fells quiet once more, and I get the chance to glance at some faces I haven't seen in years. Forgotten in their tears, curled up in dark corners... they all surface now for the show. Approaching the barred doors, they wait...  
  
Finally the moment they've all been anticipating... the Dementors take their guarding positions across the corridor, the doors are opened and Cornelius Fudge comes in, accompanied by his assistant, some guards, a journalist – probably appointed by the Daily Prophet to cover the story, and... Lucius Malfoy. None of them appears particularly happy to be here. Hah! I should think so, I'd stay as far away as possible if I had a choice... but I don't... bloody hell!  
  
I've been kept sane by my thoughts, by my lust for revenge... others aren't so fortunate. And still my life ended eleven years ago... what compensation is there for all this...? Will it ever change...?  
I'm left with the consolation that I can still remember my own name... pointless as it might seem. Yet this is my opportunity to show them who I am.  
  
Fudge's voice breaks through the silence... 'Yes, creepy place indeed, yes yes!'  
  
Malfoy mutters something as a reply as he approaches some cells to 'inspect' their inhabitants up close. Soulless monster... he'd be the guest of honour in this place, had he not enough money to buy himself a second chance. He was a Death Eater, everyone knows that... and he's still dangerous. I'd give anything to see him being held responsible for all his actions... make him pay for the sorrow he brought into the world.  
  
A cold laughter fills the hallway when Malfoy passes by one of the cells on the opposite side of the corridor. A laughter that I know so well... Bella's laughter. She moves from the shadows where she found shelter and stares into Malfoy's eyes with contempt. Malfoy's face whitens at the sight of her. He bites his lip and tries to look away, pretending not to notice her.  
  
'You... you've come to count the sheep, have you... ?!' she starts before he can escape. 'Mr. Blondie-hair... ooh I'm so evil!... No, I'm not!' She speaks in a mock baby voice, then starts laughing again like she's just won a million galleons at the WizzLotto.  
  
'Shut up!' he spits in a rather low voice, not wanting to attract any unwanted attention.   
  
'Shut up...? SHUT UP??... ME, you're telling ME to shut up??... I went looking for him, I've been locked up in here for 7 years now while you revelled in your wealth...' She reaches out through the bars and grabs him by his robes, pulling him toward her. 'Listen you filth, listen to my words... he'll be back... and then we'll see who's his new favourite! You're not even worthy of Avada!!'  
  
At that same moment Fudge descends the stairs from inspecting the upper floors of the prison. He stops in his tracks at the sight of Malfoy hanging by his robes under Bella's grip. A second later he starts shouting...  
  
'What in God's name!? This is no circus, don't just stand there... that woman is dangerous, help Mr. Malfoy or lose your jobs!' He rushes forward, trying to catch up with the guards.  
  
After the 'captive' is released and the guards spread to their regular places, leaving no less than four Dementors in front of Bella's cell, Fudge goes up to a still shaking Malfoy.  
  
'Everything all right Lucius? What was all that about?' He pauses to glance at Malfoy then at Bella's cell... 'That woman's insane, I've never seen such viciousness in anyone before. She's like a viper...'  
  
'Right, of course' Lucius mutters while straightening his robes. 'I'm all right, no need to worry... let's move on, shall we?'  
  
'Sure, sure... still, she should be punished... like solitary confinement... even though, well, all this seems enough. These Dementors are a thousand times worse than anything sleep or food deprivation could do...' He starts forward to continue the inspection, playing absently with the curled up newspaper he has in his hand.  
  
'I doubt it...' Malfoy mutters in a low voice and moves along to catch up with the Minister and the others that have gathered in the meantime.  
  
They pass by every cell, commenting on the state of its inhabitant... things like 'hopeless', 'mad', and 'desperate' pop up a lot in their conversations. Fudge shrugs at the sight of the conditions we have to put up with, at hearing stories about all that died in here, but I know he won't have it any other way. 'They made their beds,' he says, 'and now let them sleep in them.'  
  
'You're wrong!' I shout from my cell, watching his surprise at hearing my voice. His face darkens as he realizes that I'm still alive, 11 years since he saw me in that cursed street. And I'm not mad... not by a long shot. He looks around puzzled, trying to discern where my voice came from, probably expecting to see me standing right behind him, armed with a sledgehammer and grinning madly back at him.  
  
'Black... Sirius Black... where is he? Where?' he asks the guards impatiently.  
  
'Cell 17, on your right sir, it's over there...' one of the guards points my way, and I see Fudge excusing himself from the others and approaching the cell.  
  
'Well well, what have we here... I must say, Mr. Black, that I'm quite surprised to see you here today. As I was being told before you rudely interrupted, prisoners tend not to last long in here. But, I guess that's not your case, of course... with being You-Know-Who's faithful servant... I've seen Mrs. Lestrange is also holding up pretty well...' I let him finish his little speech and settle with just staring back at him for a while. I know better than to have them send four Dementors over for a visit because of something I said to their precious Minister... git!  
  
'Right, evil me... you'll probably toss around in bed at night for at least two weeks after you get back home, just because you laid eyes on my evil face... EEVIL!' I grin at him and look straight in his now horrified eyes.  
  
'Well,' he spits taking a step back, desperate to be out of my presence 'I see Azkaban has been treating you well...'  
  
'Oh, you have no idea Fudge... ' I notice he's still holding the newspaper and I suddenly get a great idea. 'Say, are you done with that newspaper? I miss doing the crosswords...' His face whitens and he shrugs before replying.  
  
'Uh, sure, whatever... here...' He pushes the tattered newspaper through the bars and mutters something like 'Bloody maniac... crosswords??!!' before turning and returning to his companions.   
  
Everything is back to normal now. Fudge and his party left earlier, the lights in the hallway were turned off and the Dementors went back to their usual business. I'm left in my cell as usual and start to inspect my new acquisition. A newspaper is a really good thing to have when you haven't been around for about 11 years, so I hurriedly browse through all the pages until a picture on the front page catches my eye... Arthur, Molly and their children... my God, how many are there?! I've definitely been missing a lot, blimey! This boy... Ron... it says here he's Harry's best friend... Harry, he's at Hogwarts... he's all grown up...  
  
'Wait a second...' I feel the blood draining from my face and hands at the sight of another familiar face looking back at me from the picture.  
  
'It can't be...' I take a closer look at the picture, trying to prove myself wrong somehow, until I notice the missing finger on the rat's hand...  
  
'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!'


	6. Chapter 6: Escaping

**Chapter 6 – Escaping**  
  
I stare at the picture for what must be the thousandth time...how can this be?! ... I see him and lose my calm, the controlled facade I have to maintain to survive. I crumple the paper and throw it in a corner, somewhere out of sight. I stare at its shadow... I hate it... I hate all this.  
  
This is no time to be standing around in prison, doing practically nothing but climbing the walls in despair while my godson is in such peril. I must get to Harry... must protect him...  
  
I get up from the stone near the window where I spend my days contemplating my lost freedom and start pacing around the tiny cell, trying to figure out what I must do.  
  
My thoughts have become an obsession. I think, I dream, I plan... to get my revenge. I know nobody ever broke out of here and that nobody probably ever will, but it's a chance I've got to take. They think me nothing more than a traitor, a danger to everybody... well, it's about time they're taught to discern right from wrong. The real traitor sits beside Harry every day. He won't fool me this time.  
  
I've managed to get some rest by transforming into Padfoot. The Dementors don't seem to care too much about the differences they sense in my mind... they probably think that I'm going insane like all the others. I've thus managed to devise a plan, an idea that's glued to my mind to the point where I dream of being free again. If I'm careful enough, I might be able to fool them by transforming, then pass through the bars of my cell and get out of the prison when they come to bring in the food or to check on the cells. But if I get caught... it might very well be the last thing that I do. But I must try... whatever it takes, I must get out. And the sooner, the better... I must do everything in my power to protect Harry from that rat, I must find him.  
  
It's been months since Fudge was here, months since I first laid my eyes on that picture... and it's been haunting me ever since...  
  
I glance at the spot where the crumpled piece of paper lies and frames from my life find their way into my mind again... the Marauders -the best friends Hogwarts has ever seen- studying to become Animagi... Peter's first complete transformation, hah, how proud we were of him... running on the Hogwarts grounds with Moony knowing that I can trust my friends to always be there... My heart aches as I remember and I can feel the Dementors outside my cell sensing my emotions and drawing closer to the bars to feast upon them. Soon other images invade my mind under their control... Voldemort and his Death Eaters... Peter... Lily and James laying dead in their home... Pain tears through my insides and I know my eyes would fill with tears, had I not shed all of them so long ago.  
  
This is it, I'm not going to spend another minute in this wretched place. I approach the bars and look around... it's night time now, most of the others are sleeping. The Dementors are attending to their guarding duties as usual... two in front of my cell, two next to Bella's cell and one next to each of the other cells on this floor of the prison.  
  
As I move I notice that the guards outside my door stir feeling me closer and I stop for a bit until they shrug it off and resume their haunting positions. I look back into my own cell and notice the paper again. I know I'll need it someday, maybe if I'll have to convince Harry of my innocence, so I go towards it, give it one last look and place it in a pocket...  
  
This is the moment I've been waiting for. I feel my blood rushing towards my head, making my ears hiss under the sudden change in pressure. I might be weak from all I've been through, but if there ever was a time to give it my all... this is it.  
  
With a feeling of anxiousness deeply embedded in my thoughts, I close my eyes and transform into the dog that helped me get out of trouble so many times before. Through the eyes of the dog I can see better in the darkness and with his 4 legs I can run faster, even though my paws hurt and my head's spinning from the lack of food.  
  
I head for the barred door and slip through it easily, using my under-fed body to pass between two bars. I run towards the door, feeling the Dementors stir behind me. They seem not to comprehend what happened, but they still know something's wrong. They start checking the cells one after the other... shrieking and freezing everything around them as they go.  
  
I reach the closed door and decide to hide in the shadows until the guards outside open them to see what's wrong. I've hardly settled in my hiding place before two guards come, leaving the door ajar behind them. I sneak past them and go through the door, feeling freedom all around me as I'm met by a warm summer rain.  
  
I cross the muddy road leading to the prison entrance and head for the sea shore... my only true way out.  
  
Soon I reach a familiar place... the same frame I've been admiring through my window for 12 years now... the place where all that stands between me and my life is a landscape of unmarked graves of people the world has long forgotten. I stop to catch my breath and look over to the mounds of dirt as they bathe in the silvery moonlight. I take one last glance at the rotten place I had to call home for the last 12 years and proceed toward the water, preparing to swim to the shore.


	7. Chapter 7: Old Friends and New Beginning...

**Chapter 7 – Old friends and new beginnings - Part 1 **  
  
I open my tired eyes to sunshine and a warm summer breeze. If this is all a dream, please let it never end. I look toward the horizon, admire the beauty of the sea, of the sky, and for once in over twelve years I feel free... I feel alive.  
  
Now I can get to Harry. I'll prove I'm innocent... I'll get that rat and make him pay for what he's done. And then... maybe I'll have my life back.  
  
I stumble to my feet and decide that I'd better get going if I want to reach Privet Drive by the end of the week. Escaping was only the beginning...   
  
I transform back into the dog and lope towards the distant skyline of Ipswich city. This will be a long journey...  
  
It's been 6 days... 6 excruciatingly long days. I've crossed more roads than I care to remember, eaten out of dumpsters and slept on the cold ground, my swollen paws ache but nothing could possibly compare to what I've been through before... and it will all end when I'll find him.  
  
I've never been to Lily's sister's home, but instinct leads me... I turn right into yet another prim suburban cul-de-sac, neatly signposted Magnolia Crescent just in time to notice a figure walking along the darkened road. Wait a second... it can't be... but... my God, he looks so much like James... it must be him... it must be Harry.  
  
I hide in some bushes and watch him as he hurries down the street dragging his school trunk behind him. He looks angry, I wonder what happened... Would it help if I went to him now?... Does he even know who I am?... Does he think I betrayed his parents? I decide that the safest thing that I can do for Harry is to stay away... for now. I must find Peter first, must deal with him. Then Harry will be safe. I find a good place to hide among the branches and gaze at Harry.  
  
I wonder what he's doing on the streets at this hour... school doesn't start for a couple of weeks and I thought that he'd have to live with Lily's sister in the holidays... where else could he go? I watch as he stops and leans against a wall opposite to my hiding place. He looks worried, lost. I'd give anything to be there for him now...   
  
Seeing him like this makes me hate Peter even more... I'll find him and make him pay for all the sorrow he's put everybody through.  
  
I hope Harry's not in trouble. I watch as he rummages through his trunk in search of something he apparently can't find. He finally gets what looks like a photo album out of the trunk and ruffles the pages until he finds what he's been looking for. He takes a picture out of the album and stares at it with teary eyes. Poor kid...  
  
He suddenly turns his face towards me. He must have felt me watching him... it's been known to happen. He continues his search, but seconds later he's facing me again, this time pointing his wand straight in my direction.  
  
'Lumos!' he mutters and the dark street springs alight. I look at him for a couple of seconds then bury my head between some branches as the brightness of the light coming from the tip of his wand is more than my eyes can stand. I feel Harry coming closer and raise my head towards him, just in time for my eyes to meet his astonishingly green ones.  
  
As he notices me, he takes a step back and topples to the ground after tripping on his trunk. He reaches out for his wand and the next thing I see is the Knight Bus hurtling towards him as if called upon.  
  
I keep watching to make sure that Harry will be all right. As the bus driver helps the boy up the stairs of the bus, I pad away from the alley, slipping through the shadows. I hear the bus leaving and turn my eyes to watch as it disappears into the night.  
  
A little piece of paper flutters to the ground as the bus moves away. It looks like the picture that Harry was staring at earlier. I move into the street and sniff at it, feeling the bitter-sweet scent of Harry lingering upon it. I look at it, the thing that made him cry alone in the night... a picture... for me a forgotten memory... a picture of James and Lily that I took when we came home from the graduation ball. That was so long ago...  
  
I know what I must do next...   
  
'The Eternal Hope Cemetery' I read upon a plaque near the golden gates that guard over the ones that sleep forever. I slip past the bars of the gate – which brings back eerie memories – and paw across the green searching for something I lost long ago...  
  
A short distance in front of me, next to the trunk of an old willow and gleaming in the moonlight the thing I've been looking for finally reveals itself. I knew it would be here... James wouldn't have wanted it any other way... being buried next to his parents...  
  
I look around to make sure there's no one around – stupid thing, actually, since I'm standing in a cemetery in the middle of the night – and then I resume my human form and approach the two grave stones that lie before me.  
  
Bathed in moonlight, two marble headstones welcome my presence bringing with them an entire swoop of long forgotten memories. I kneel before them and read the golden engraving...  
  
'James Potter... Lily Potter – Beloved friends and parents. Your memory will be cherished forever.'  
  
I feel my eyes swelling with tears. I never truly mourned their loss... now I realize how much I miss them... it's so unfair. I sit down on the grass next to the headstones and watch as the moonlight plays on the cold marble. I close my eyes reliving the times when we were all together.  
  
I rest my head in my hands while a long forgotten pain takes over my soul. I miss them... I miss my life... He... HE MUST pay! I slam my fists against the cold marble and relish in the freedom that the gesture bestows upon my tired mind. Only by getting my revenge I'll finally be free.  
  
A shroud of darkness covers the graveyard as bitter rain clouds take over the sky. I look up at the moon and see how it slowly surrenders to the shadows. Thunder tingles in the night as a cold, soft rain starts to fall.  
  
'It rains because you're sad, baby!' a voice from the past whispers in my memory.  
  
Mrs. Potter... I remember the countless times that James' mom was there for me when I woke up in the middle of the night... she treated me as if I was her son... and those chocolate chip cookies... I look over to the left side of James' grave and my eyes fall upon the white marble monument we built so long ago for James' parents.  
  
'Anne and Eric Potter – Until we meet again...'  
  
'Until then...' I whisper.  
  
I get up and walk around the graves, settling down behind James' headstone, with my back leaning against it.  
  
Today's rain reminds me of that Halloween night... It burns through my mind, eats at my insides. Even now, 12 years later, it still feels like a dream... a nightmare I'm stuck in without no one to wake me up.  
  
They feel so far away... images rush in front of my eyes... pictures from the past, long forgotten voices... 'James, really, it's better if you ask Peter... I'll be the first they'll think of... it's perfect, don't you see?'  
  
Stupid... so stupid...  
  
How could I do that?... How could I trust him?... A sharp pain shoots through my heart. I know it... I do... I'm the one to blame... so stupid... I lean my head back on the headstone, feeling the rain dripping on my face, washing my tears away.  
  
'Well bro, I'm back...' I speak to the night. I know they're out there... I know they'll always be near us. And we will meet again...  
  
'James...' my eyes are filling up with tears again. 'I'm sorry... it's all because of me...' I stop as the wind starts blowing harder, driving icy drops of rain against my face.  
  
'I promise... I promise that I'll find Harry... I'll keep him safe! That rat will pay for his treachery, I'll see to it. I cannot believe we trusted him... he had us all fooled... I WILL have my revenge. God I miss you so much...'  
  
The wind calms down a bit and the moon shines brighter under the shroud of watery clouds. I get up and straighten my already soaked robes. I look upon the white stone...  
  
' I'll fight until the very end!' I say and turn around to leave, getting ready to bring Padfoot back for the long journey that lies ahead. A circle of fire and a couple of minutes later I open my dog eyes to the same dark night.  
  
I look towards the graves one more time. 'I will never let you down again Prongs! I promise!' I think to myself as I start down the dusty path that leads to the gates. I have to get to Hogwarts...


	8. Chapter 8: Reinvented it goes on

Chapter 8: Reinvented it goes on

The reddish sky and the birds' fresh song gleefully announce the dawning of a new day.

"There's nothing more fetching than Hogwarts in spring!" a red-haired girl with eyes of emerald green had once said. Long ago. A distant, bittersweet past remembered only in the memories of a handful of people.

But today's Hogwarts is not quite as fetching. There's something moving in the shadows of the forest, there's someone trying to break in ... and Hogwarts is terrified.

They call him a murderer; they fear his name, his power and his mind ... Pain buried under the sands of a decade now surfaces once more as they wait, as they shiver, worry, hate.

How can they know it's all a lie! They're only human, after all...

And all this time he's watching. From the shadows. In the darkness. For all that's left for him is sorrow. In his mind, he knows nothing but vengeance, and all he craves is life. They took his world away ... he only has one thing left to fight for, and it fuels his will, giving him power, giving him patience, giving him hope.

Sirius Black moves through the silence, and with each step he takes his fate's being written in the stars. He watches the moon with glistening but tired eyes, and he aches. Remembering days so long forgotten, he runs. The drive to go on, the pain in his chest, the taste of rats fresh in his mouth ... his body feels broken in a million shards, but his spirit runs free, pushing him further, talking to him, screaming « Go on! ».

Tonight he is immortal. His life is worthless. He fears nothing but failure in his final task. Even as the Grim, his mind is clear. He follows the path; he blends with the greys of the night; he gets past the guards and into the castle.

The doors, the dark corridors and hidden passageways; he remembers them all so well. It's like hitching a ride in a Pensieve ... thoughts as old as the night, memories that seem to come from a previous life, dreams of a youth long forgotten. And he glides forward, just as he did before, for fate's wheel seldom returns you to places you know, to places you thought you'd never see again...

Hope is alight within him. Dark hope. Reckless drive sending him to his death; 'No matter what,' he tells himself, 'That rotten bastard won't touch Harry. I'll end this now. There's nothing to lose !'

Harry? Harry Potter. The son of Sirius' best friend, orphan child raised in misery; powerful; innocent; defenceless. For 12 years Black dreamt of his face ... a baby, nothing more, but the nightmares it brought to a broken man's mind ... the guilt ... unbearable. Images, voices, they were all in his head, swirling around like a carousel of dark thoughts; blaming him; calling him ... wringing tears from his eyes in the darkness of a cold stone chamber.

'I could have done more, something different.' he thought '_You could have, you know, much different, more_' the rattle of ice echoed each time in his head. 'It's all my fault.' _Guilty, good for nothing, traitor, it's all your fault._

The stench of death, the shrieks, all calling out to him like mermaids to sailors who venture through the storm ... _Give in to your pain ... You're ours forever ... give in to the cold. _And so he shivered in the night. His nightmares always real, memories burning behind his eyes, the happiness he once felt draining away as his soul slowly froze. Freedom was a dream he couldn't afford to live. But innocence was his gift, and it kept him alive.

You can see it all in his eyes. The sunken, blackened gateways to a man's true self. Eyes always have a story to tell ... and his would write novels.

So, the man behind the story moves forward. He creeps through narrow passageways and forgotten corridors, rushing through the sleepy castle like a forgotten ghost. And he finally reaches the tower.

The Gryffindor Tower, his home from long ago, his place of refuge away from his family, close by his friends; the tower now welcomes him once more.

With a week's worth of passwords held tightly in his hand, he watches as the door flies slowly open and the still fuming fireplace in the common room comes into view.

He's hunting a rat tonight. A yellow, backstabbing fiend he once called his friend; a friend who once betrayed an oath, a friend who took hope away for many. Tonight he'll finally pay.

Peter Pettigrew, the friend, the rat, the coward is dreaming of some yummy cheese while resting in his rat form on Ron Weasley's pillow. Suddenly he hears someone calling his name.

It's a foreign voice, and yet surprisingly familiar. His dream unveils itself to be a nightmare as the yellow cheese grows taller and turns the colour of stone. It's a building. It's a prison. It's Azkaban. And the voice he heard keeps on calling him. At first it was distant, but now it grows louder, and louder, until he sees where it was coming from. He sees him, he sees his old buddy, but all he can think of is death. His doom ... the man rises up from behind the building, taller than the sky itself. He crushes the prison under his boot and moves towards the true subject of his wrath. And he laughs. A merciless, insane laughter ... and his eyes glint in the moonlight.

Peter Pettigrew wakes. Shivering he opens his beady rat eyes and finds himself staring into the same eyes his dream had shown him minutes earlier. He panics.

Frightened, he tries to run. But where? And how? Danger's before him, too close to fend off. He tries to run but Ron Weasley, still sleeping soundly, turns over, laying an arm right over his shivering, small body. The rat cannot move. He squeaks and tries to get free but his enemy's hands are closing in on him. He's trapped. It's over. He squirms around and manages to bite the hand that held him prisoner, taking off and hiding under the bed covers.

Seeing his life pass before his eyes, he shivers. His hair on end, blood rushing to his head, he waits...


End file.
